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Time Management Tips - How To Be A Good Friend In Need

Author : Paula Eder

Submitted : 2008-10-28 00:00:00    Word Count : 557    Popularity:   265

Tags:   Paula Eder, finding time, The Time Finder, time management tips, friend in need, how to be a good friend

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Time management tips to nurture important friendships are top priorities for many of us. Usually action steps like setting aside time for lunch or social evenings, or keeping in regular contact via telephone or email, head the list for maintaining connections. But finding ways to support a friend in times of crisis is rarely explored.

A Friend in Crisis can Create a Time Crisis!

When a friend needs your immediate help, your ability to make good time choices is tested. You will encounter opportunities for growth and insight.

Remember one fundamental difference between social contact and helping a friend in crisis: When a friend's need for support is immediate, the timing of the contact is not flexible.

Suppose a close friend of yours unexpectedly loses her job. She contacts you, feeling angry, frightened and hurt. Her need for your support can't be addressed by matching up schedules for lunch or for an hour on the phone.

3 Traps You Must Avoid When a Friend's Crisis Occurs

How do you deal with the immediate stress of finding time to be a good friend right now - not tomorrow or next Tuesday, when you might have free time?

The single most important thing you must do may be the one thing you push out of your mind. You must examine your own feelings about this event.

Are These Your Traps?

1) Feeling obligated

2) Feeling pressured

3) Feeling guilty thinking about how supporting your friend will complicate your plans

Any of these can push you into seriously over-committing yourself. If you answer 'yes' to any of these, your next step must be to modify your mindset.

3 Time Tips for Truly Helping Your Friend:

1) Let go of guilt!

The more conflicted you feel, the harder it is to provide support for your friend. So, the best place to start finding the time to be the friend you'd like to be is to clear your mind of all sense of obligation or guilt. They can never be good motivators for realigning your schedule!

2) Remain realistic about your ability to shift your existing commitments.

It's essential that you take the time to explore how much time you can genuinely offer and follow through with. If you don't have a to-do list, create one now and block out the time you to meet your responsibilities. Then you'll see when - and how - you can offer support to your friend.

3) Share your feelings of caring and concern, but don't create expectations that you may not be able to meet.

Communication is key. You can always express deep concern and caring, and that is always a great help to friends. Only offer suggestions and ask questions about how you can help after you're clear on your limits.

What Matters the Most?

When you offer your undivided, unhurried attention and genuine caring, you provide FAR more support than you could by 'sacrificing' more extensive time while feeling distracted, resentful and over-extended.

Friendships deserve our very best efforts. With extra care and thoughtfulness, you can deepen significant relationships and retain the control you need over your time.

Author's Resource Box

Coach Paula Eder, Ph.D., The Time Finder, has 35 years of success helping individuals and small businesses effectively align their time choices with their values.

To receive Paulas free weekly Time Tips & the monthly, award-winning Finding Time Ezine, visit
Finding Time

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